Updated: Dec 21, 2019
I recently introduced a new song into my live repertoire called, 'I’m Gettin’ On'.
Despite the jaunty use of an apostrophe being deployed as a substitute for the letter g, this is not a song about going places in life or even having an amicable relationship. Instead, it’s about ‘getting on’. In other words, ageing.
The gradual decline of one’s faculties, coupled with the realisation things will only get worse, makes the ageing process one of the least enjoyable aspects of organic existence. Of course, it’s still preferable to the alternative.
However, as well as the obvious physical deteriorations such as knees, feet, back, hearing, eyesight, et al, there are some other, less expected, losses. One of those seems to be the ability to care – or ‘give a toss’ as my younger self might have put it. That doesn’t mean losing the ability to care for and about others, it’s more a feeling of not caring about… well, everything else!
It’s hard to be precise about what that means and, frankly, following a few moments’ pondering I’m not sure I can be bothered trying to do so anymore. See? That’s how it works. It sneaks up behind you and yanks the wedgie of indifference before you even know it’s there.
I find I get halfway through reading articles and then think, “You know what, I don’t care!”. Films and TV programmes are the same: It really doesn’t bother me if Morse solves the crime and I genuinely have no interest in whether Willy is freed or spends countless sequels in a fish tank.
They’re digging up the road outside the library next Tuesday… "I don’t care"!
Tesco have an offer on yogurts… "I don’t care"!
The interest rate has changed… "Mine hasn’t, it’s still stuck on ‘I don’t care’"!
In fact, it’s becoming quite a struggle to take all but a passing interest in anything. There was a time every tiny detail of everything mattered, but not now.
So, is this a part of the ageing saga - to lose interest as well as memory? I rather suspect it is. But, you know what? I really don’t … … … …
… No, it’s gone!